Losing Crow (The Bloody Saints MC Book 1) Read online

  “Shawn and I,” I tell her quietly.

  “Fuck! What the fuck did she do?” She snarled.

  “I don’t know,” I tell her as a sob broke from my throat.

  “We need to go,” she tells me while she looked around. The way she was doing it was a bit odd. Almost professional.

  “We?’” I asked.

  “Yeah, including me,” she tells me, looking down at me like I was a moron.

  Hell, I was. I let my sister drag me into this shit over and over. Now, I was paying for it with the possible life my son and me.

  “Ronnie, you don’t need to do this,” I tell her.

  “The fuck I don’t!” She snarled at me.

  Maybe she’s right. They might connect us to Ronnie, and her life is probably in danger.

  “Not because of whatever you’re thinking either,” she says forcefully.

  “I love you, Ronnie,” I tell her, as I stand and pull her into a hug. She was my best friend, my confidant, and my sister. Blood doesn’t always define a family. Actions and love do.

  “Come on, we need to get fucking moving now. The sooner we go, the harder it is to find us,” Ronnie said pulling away and dragging me into the house.

  We were going to leave her car and take mine. There were dealerships three towns over, and we were going to trade in my car and get one with Shawn’s last name.

  It was time to hide and this time, instead of looking for a way to save my sister, I needed to find a way to save my son, my friend, and myself.

  Go to him, he will save us. No, Crow was the last person I needed to go too. He didn’t need this shit coming his way, and I wasn’t so sure I could survive seeing the life that he’s made for himself.

  “We’re going to find Crow,” Ronnie tells me as if she was reading my thoughts. I shake my head forcefully, that wasn’t happening.

  “Just get his location, Maria,” she said more gently this time.

  “I can’t do that,” I tell her turning onto the highway.

  “It’s a safety net. Find him, and if shit blows up in our faces, we go to him,” she tells me.

  It was something I had already thought of. I knew Ronnie was right. Shawn’s little giggles in the back cemented it. I would go to him only if there were no other choice.

  Chapter 4

  Maria

  Two Days Ago.

  I watched as the man stalked through the grocery store parking lot. We had moved closer to Crow, and he was literally a fifteen-minute drive away.

  The guy in the leather jacket and dark jeans wasn’t the motorcycle type. No, he was the kind that tried to blend in. I was sure this guy was in the mafia, and it wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him.

  They were closing in again. We moved just three days ago, and already they located us. I got into my car and tried to stay calm as I backed out of my parking spot.

  We needed to go on the move again, this time closer to Crow. I knew exactly where he was, and it grated like a cheese grater that I needed to go to him. I felt like a bad puppy with my tail tucked between my legs. I only lasted three fucking weeks!

  Looking behind me, I made sure I was not being followed and just for an extra safety measure, I made a few odd turns. When I saw nothing out of the ordinary, I went to the hotel.

  We had chosen a room on the first floor with both a front door and a sliding glass door around the corner. It was a great layout and helped if there were an opportunity we had to run.

  “Let’s go,” I tell her quickly as I zip up Shawn’s bag.

  We never unpacked. We always keep our stuff together in case this happens, which has been happening more and more. We needed to get out of here quickly.

  Ronnie grabbed Shawn as I grabbed our bags. Leaving the key in the room, I head back to the car. Tears threatened to break free, but I fought them back.

  My stubbornness was going to get my son killed. I hated myself for not going to him sooner. I let my feelings cloud my judgment.

  “It’s time,” I tell her.

  She sighed and reached over to grab my hand giving it a hard squeeze. The plan was to leave them in the car which was parked across the street. It was hidden enough that if someone looked, you wouldn’t really see them through the tinted windows.

  “I don’t like this, we should go in with you,” she tells me.

  “I need to do this alone, it’s important Ronnie,” I tell her quietly.

  Chapter 5

  Maria

  Present Day.

  I knew him before today. As a matter of fact, I saved his life. Okay, maybe not saved his life, just his caffeine addiction. It was more like I paid for his coffee and he showed me what it was like to be with a man.

  One popped cherry in the back of his blue pickup. Who knew coffee was going to be so expensive? I didn’t. Well, it’s more the reward that came with meeting Crow. That was his last name, I never learned his first.

  I thought I would never see him again. But I do see him every day and put him to bed every night. Well, his double anyway. Our son, Shawn. I was young and stupid and gave away my virginity to a man who couldn’t pay for a cup of coffee. Then, I left with a gift that even though times are hard, I wouldn’t trade for anything.

  It’s not the gift that has me standing outside of my car staring at the clubhouse. I was fighting the need to march in there and tell him he was going to help me whether he liked it or not.

  Most would run the other way but what choice did I have? They needed me, and I had to do this for them.

  This is for the only family I have left, Ronnie and Shawn. My little bundle of havoc that stirs up my days and fills my nights with smiles and cuddles.

  No one said raising a kid was easy and absolutely no one said being a single mom was any easier. I know I should have put more effort into finding him years ago, but I let our past keep me away. The memories were both good and bad.

  So, who do I run to the moment the big bad invade my life? The one man who could blow it up and laugh while doing it. Well, at least I hoped he wouldn’t blow us up. As long as Ronnie and Shawn were a safe distance away. That thought brought a smile to my lips.

  Taking a deep breath, I smooth my tight jean skirt and curse myself for not changing into stuff less form fitting. I wasn’t here to seduce the man, I was here to beg him to kill a few people, that’s all. A few well-placed bullets, maybe an explosion or two, and voila we’ll be free! Everyone can go back to whatever they were doing before. Maybe…

  Nodding my head, I let my feet carry me to the entrance. Remember, don’t demand anything, he owes you nothing. Breathe and smile. No barring of the teeth and no laser eyes or mom face as Ronnie has dubbed it.

  The music wasn’t as loud as I thought it would be and the clubhouse was much cleaner than anticipated. I felt the eyes roam over my body. The tables were filled with men drinking and women doing things I don’t ever want to see again.

  I wasn’t a prude, but I didn’t want to watch others get blow jobs. Let’s face it, I don’t see how that could look attractive. Dicks weren’t pretty. Period.

  “Hello, there sweet thing. Why don’t you come over here and sit on daddy’s lap? Tell me about all the naughty things you’ll like to do,” a deep voice whispers into my ear. My throat convulses, and I feel a gag coming. Nasty.

  I know I should have tried to meet him outside of the clubhouse, but I was desperate, and waiting wasn’t my forte. I lean away from his hot breath blowing across my ear and neck and laugh slightly.

  Did these lines really work? My eyes took in the scene around me, and I shook my head. Yes, it appears it does.

  “I’m looking for someone,” I tell the man as I evade his arm.

  He wraps it around my shoulder and pulls me in close. His laugh has his chest bouncing and rubbing against my shoulder.

  “I’ve got you, sweet stuff,” he tells me in a husky tone as he tries to pull me close, again.

  My patience, that I honestly barely have at this point, snaps. I mean, shit
, I’ve been fucking running for my life for the last three fucking weeks. My temper is boiling, and the need to maim this man almost takes over.

  “I’m looking for someone, and that sure as fuck isn’t you!” I shout.

  Fingers wrap into my hair holding me in place. Not hurting, but not allowing me to move.

  “You come into our clubhouse and snub your fucking nose? Who the fuck do you think you are?” He snarls at me, and I growl as the anger radiates off him in waves.

  I should have, at this point, let reason take me. Calm the situation and find Crow. What I really do is stomp on this assholes foot as I sink my nails into his wrist. My teeth came into play as I made non-successful attempts to bite him. I probably resemble a deranged hungry zombie.

  I was beyond angry. I didn’t want to be here, but the lives of my best friend and son demand it. They are at this very moment huddled out in the car hoping to stay hidden. The longer I was in here, the more danger they were in. And this prick was putting his hands on me and suggesting nasty shit.

  The hand in my hair tightens. I’ll be honest it fucking hurt to have a large amount of hair being pulled as someone controls your head movements with said chunk of hair.

  “You’re lucky I find you cute,” the man reeks of alcohol from today and possibly yesterday. Hell, maybe even last week. Who knows when the man last showered.

  “Let me go, and I won’t kill you?” I make it sound like a question when honestly, he holds all the damn cards. If that didn’t chap my ass, grrrr.

  “Lincoln, let her the fuck go, now!” I know that voice and all the hairs on my body start to rise as it echoes around the now silent room.

  “Crow?” The man holding me says.

  “Hands the fuck off or I cut them off,” Crow snarls.

  He was getting closer. I start to feel bad for the man who called himself daddy, aka Lincoln. I had this uncontrollable condition that contributed to people getting angry. Through no fault of my own, I might point out.

  “Crow?” I ask.

  Lincoln, aka Daddy, still hadn’t let go of my hair and my head was now pointing to the floor. So, I watch as two black booted feet came into my line of sight.

  “Lincoln, let her the fuck go, now,” Crow demands, his voice is lethal, and it sends a shiver of fear down my spine.

  This time I heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked.

  “Shit man,” Lincoln says releasing my hair and letting me straighten. My hair, newly released, falls into my face, and I sputter in anger as I push it out of my eyes.

  Those beautiful green eyes meet mine, and I am transported back in time to the coffee shop, and the moment my life derailed. It was like a train wreck, like watching two trains head for a collision I should have seen coming a mile away, but I was blind to everything but him.

  Chapter 6

  Maria

  Two Years Ago.

  The coffee shop was filled with the scent of rich coffee and deliciously baked goods. My stomach growled, and my eyes squinted. I needed my fix, and this line was not moving. It hasn’t even gone an inch in the last five minutes.

  What was taking the person at the counter so long? I looked behind me and took in the number of people in line. It all but wound out the door. There must have been at least ten of them.

  I debated my options. I could get out of line and march up there to find out what was going on. But, I’d lose my spot. I could also stay here and hope the selfish person holding me back from my sweet treat and rich liquid drug of choice would move along.

  Another minute passed and my fists clenched. Dammit, I was going to do this. I was going to go up there and move this damn process along. I needed my caffeine!

  Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of my coveted spot and moved towards the counter. A few people protested but I just gave them a look of destruction, and they fell silent. I continued on my path since I didn’t stop. I gave them the look on the move; I was good like that.

  I was maybe three steps away from the front of the line. The man blocking my view of the person holding me up moved, and I got my first glimpse of the annoyingly selfish person holding up the line.

  The black leather vest and light blue jeans had my heart beat erratically. It was like it knew that this was a bad idea. Although my brain was like, fuck that, we can take this man.

  Sighing, I took the last few steps and waited for him to notice me. If he did, he made no move to show it. He only tightened his shoulders, and his hand gripped the phone to his ear a little tighter.

  “Fuck, man, I need like three dollars. Get your ass here now,” he barked into the phone.

  I should have backed away and gone to the end of the line. Pretend that this man wasn’t here and just wait for my fix, like every other person in this place.

  I thought of how long I could be waiting and sighed. There was no way I was walking away now. I did give up my spot.

  “Excuse me,” I said, lower then I planned.

  When he didn’t even turn and look at me, I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat. Still nothing. That’s it, I wasn’t letting this go. He was a rude asshole, and I hated rude assholes.

  “Hey!” I shouted.

  His hand lowered, and the phone disappeared into his pocket. He then turned around and looked down at me. Yes, looked down because he was a giant of a man. Maybe six foot four? Maybe even jolly green giant size.

  “Look, Mr. Giant, I need my coffee. I’m late, and you are between me and what I need,” I tried to sound rational, but I wasn’t so sure I succeeded in that.

  “Yeah, me too,” he tells me with what suspiciously sounded like laughter in his voice.

  “What you need to do is get the hell out of my way.” I snarl. Not liking his tone one iota.

  “I’m waiting for someone to bring me my wallet, doll,” he tells me with a crooked smile.

  “How much to get you the fuck out of my way?” I snapped.

  I needed my fix, and this man made it sound like it could be forever before I got to it.

  “I’m not letting you pay, doll,” he tells me firmly.

  There he goes using the endearment again. I was no one’s doll. Turning I looked at the barista. “How much?”

  “Two seventy-three,” she sighed.

  I wasn’t sure if that was relief or annoyance. Now that I thought about it, the barista was batting her nice long fake eyelashes at him. I looked him up and down and took in his dark brown hair, dark green eyes, and tree trunk legs that were encased in perfectly faded jeans. I bet he had a nice six-pack under that t-shirt. Let’s not get started on the tattoos on his neck that disappeared into the collar of said shirt.

  Yeah, she was annoyed that I was trying to move the hot non - jolly green giant along.

  “Here,” I tell her with a little more anger then I should have. Shoving the three dollars into her hand.

  “Keep the damn change,” I tell her with a fake smile.

  Her lips turn down in a frown, but her eyes threw daggers in my direction.

  “Thanks, doll,” he tells me moving aside but not leaving. Maybe I had interrupted some weird courting that I don’t think I will ever understand.

  I knew one thing, I wasn’t going back in line. I was getting what I wanted, and those who didn’t like it could kiss my ass.

  “Medium hot coffee, triple cream, triple sugar, and one powdered chocolate doughnut. Also, an everything bagel with cream cheese,” I tell the now fuming barista.

  “You need to get back in line,” she snarls at me.

  Having had enough bullshit this morning, I place both hands on the counter and lean in like I’m going to tell her a secret.

  I make no move to whisper as I tell her, “Get my shit and move the fuck on. If he wants in your pants, he will get there, but right now your job is to get my coffee and food.”

  I was more hostile than normal. I knew it and couldn’t help it. This morning has been nothing but shit. First, my sister Julie stole the rent money and left before I
could kick her ass. Then this asshole held up the line, and now this chick was hung up on said man.

  Sure, I could dip into my savings again and pay the rent, but it wasn’t the point. Julie needs to stay away from the human scum she’s been sleeping with. He was going to get her killed. She stole that money again to save his sorry ass. I just knew it.

  Loud laughter came from my left. Turning I glared at the man that had made this morning even more intolerable.

  I then noticed the man behind me in line had indeed gotten closer to me, and he was not happy that I had cut in front of him.

  This wasn’t going to be good. I could see it in his eyes. He wasn’t one to play nice. This guy was one of those who threw his power around.

  Sighing, I kept my eye on the man behind me then turned slightly to the man whose coffee I just paid for.

  “Why are you still here?” I asked him.

  I was so damn rude, but I couldn’t seem to reel it in. His eyes darkened, and his lips twitched.

  “Waiting for my wallet, remember?” he said.

  My cheeks heated as I remembered that little tidbit. Yeah, I forgot about that. The man in line stepped closer, and I knew he had enough.

  “You can’t just cut in front of me like that. Do you know who I am?” he snarls.

  “Uh, a man waiting for his coffee? And I just made the line move. You’re welcome,” I tell him.

  “You little bitch,” he snarls, taking a threating step closer.

  He looked like he was going to make a scene in here. Honestly, I thought he was going to try to chase me down with a vengeance once we got outside.

  Turning fully to him I tried to muster up a calming sweet smile. I’m pretty sure it looked more like a baring of the teeth with a slight grimace.

  “Look, I’m sorry. I’ll be out of your way any moment now,” I tell him only to realize the barista was still standing there looking at me.

  “Move,” I shout at her. Seriously, what the fuck?

  Her eyes turned to slits. Then her hands balled up, and her mouth pinched together.

  “I don’t have to listen to you,” she tells me.